The Perils and Pitfalls of the Success Status
It’s April 15th as I write this, a day whose meanings vary significantly from person to person. If you are the average American, it is a day of numbers, sweat, and multiple calls to the IRS helpline; if you live in Rochester, New York, it is another day of bemoaning the stubborn endurance of winter (we got about an inch of snow today, hooray); and if you are a senior at a music college, it is quite possibly the biggest day of the year: decision day!
Yep, that’s right: unless you’re caught up in waitlist purgatory, you’ll have at long last made your final decision in regards to which prestigious graduate program you’ll be attending the fall, and it is certainly an occasion worthy of celebration. The days of anxious waiting, intense financial aid negotiations, and trial lessons are finally over, and now the only challenge remaining is to find affordable housing in your new city (good luck, soon-to-be NYC transplants). For most students, the process of officially committing to a school proceeds as follows:
1) Sign “Intent to Enroll” form
2) Scan it to the school in question (because who mails those things anymore? And what are stamps, again?)
3) Immediately log onto Facebook and tell the world!
The first two items in this list I am not offering commentary on, except that it would do one well to at least have a few stamps on hand for emergencies. What I am interested in is the third item–the status of joy instantly broadcast to all 1,000 of your Facebook friends. Now, I want to be clear that I don’t take any issue with this; as much as I have many reservations about Facebook (I mean, if a guy like Zuckerberg created the thing, how can you really trust it?), I think using the network to share your future plans is a great thing to do. Many of your friends are surely interested in your intentions, and will want to share in your joy.
However, considering the music world is freakishly small, and that students have an uncanny habit of friending each other at auditions after they bonded by the snack table (“OMG, you’re auditioning at CIM next week, too? Friend me!!”), there is a very good chance that there is someone reading your status who didn’t get into your school. Now, of course, they should respect the fact that life is life and sometimes things don’t work out, but think about it this way: would you call that person on the phone to gloat about your future plans? Probably not. If you did mention it to them, you would most likely do so very tactfully, framing it under the “I-was-probably-just-lucky” category. You would not say, “Hey, Bob, I’m so privileged and honored to officially be studying for my DMA with that famous Juilliard teacher starting next Fall! I can’t believe this is actually happening!! Thanks so much for your encouragement, support, positive vibes and all that, it really means so much! Now, off to practice!” Yet, that’s essentially what you’re doing when you post the success status….which could incite jealousy and potentially create complications down the road, as is always the case with interactions in our field–of any type.
So the question facing us is simple yet challenging: how do you write a success status without inadvertently prompting a rejected colleague to become your sworn enemy? I wish I could provide an example of my own, but, somewhat shamefully, my mid-April status of two years ago was not quite in the modest category.
Zach’s “success” status is a bit on the excited side.
Obviously, I am similarly guilty of this tendency, but do as I say and not as I do. My best advice for the success status would be to just state the facts: “Hey everyone, I’ve decided to attend Eastman next year for my Masters. Looking forward to being part of a fantastic musical environment!” Keep it casual. Don’t include every single detail of your stellar package, and don’t thank all the little people who made it possible; the people who have supported and encouraged you and sent you positive vibes etc. can be thanked individually (or at least in a mass message). It’s not as if someone is going to comment and complain they weren’t thanked, in any case.
Anyways, that’s my social media musing for the week. Again, I’m not discouraging people from posting these sorts of statuses, and don’t have any issues with them; I’m just offering a gentle reminder that, as is always the case with social media, it’s wise to exercise caution. Or at least post a good cat video to balance things out.