And they could sell tickets to staff meetings!

Labor law bars managements from implementing the governance solution outlined by Bertold Brecht:

After the uprising of the 17th June

The Secretary of the Writers Union

Had leaflets distributed in the Stalinallee

Stating that the people

Had forfeited the confidence of the government

And could win it back only

By redoubled efforts. Would it not be easier

In that case for the government

To dissolve the people

And elect another?

But the management of the Detroit Symphony seems to hanker for a similar answer to the problems of their institution:

In a letter sent to DSO board members in early January, President and CEO Anne Parsons said she thought “clarity of action” regarding cancellation of the season was needed to allow patrons to exchange tickets, request refunds or make alternative plans.

Parsons wrote: “It respects the future relationships with guest artists and conductors affected by these cancellations. … It tasks the staff with redoubling its work in the area of education, rentals, retail, jazz and fundraising — all which have come through 2010 with encouraging results.”

Of course patrons would much rather have “clarity” than… actually hear concerts. But it’s an interesting approach to the problems of running an orchestra; similar to the approach taken by the gentleman below to the problem of proper identification: